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Sep. 17th, 2009 | 05:32 am
location: US, New York, Kings, New York, Flatbush Ave, 431



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May. 29th, 2009 | 11:18 pm

I'm back in Montreal, which is great. Staying with S. is great. But I saw Z. today. I was so nervous I wouldn't go to see her at all, but I did.

She is in awful shape.

I can't stand it.

She's only 64. She was so vital, so brilliant, so creative. Now she can't walk, talk, or interact. I barely didn't cry there. I miss her so much. It breaks me to think of how she used to be and how she is now. It seems amazing that she's still a human, still the same human being.

It's not fair, it shouldn't be, that this is what her whole life was leading up to. But it is and I am so sorry.

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I hate Mother's Day

May. 11th, 2008 | 05:47 pm

Maybe eventually I'll get to the point where it's something other than a thousand stabs reminding me that my mother's dead, or that other people's mother's aren't dead.

It's been more intense this year than in past years.

Did you know that when you hate it, Mother's Day actually lasts about two weeks? Starting from when the ads come out.

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October 9, 2007 Anxiety Dreams and Test Day

Oct. 9th, 2007 | 07:33 am

Mom stepping out of the shower and telling me she's dying.  Arriving in Hungary late at night with nowhere to stay.  Dinner with a date I don't like.  Feeling so tired, I fall asleep in my dream, while I'm sleeping!  And of course the dog was tossing and turning all night too.  And it's test day! (just a small one, but still...)

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No Words

Oct. 7th, 2007 | 09:23 am

A friend sent me a link to this article about the epidemic of rape in the Congo. It's nightmarish like awful.

An excerpt:
Few seem to be spared. Dr. Mukwege said his oldest patient was 75, his youngest 3.

“Some of these girls whose insides have been destroyed are so young that they don’t understand what happened to them,” Dr. Mukwege said. “They ask me if they will ever be able to have children, and it’s hard to look into their eyes.”

No one — doctors, aid workers, Congolese and Western researchers — can explain exactly why this is happening.

“That is the question,” said André Bourque, a Canadian consultant who works with aid groups in eastern Congo. “Sexual violence in Congo reaches a level never reached anywhere else. It is even worse than in Rwanda during the genocide.”

Read the whole article but be prepared to feel sick. I did a google search to see what people are doing to help and what I could do to help. This has been covered for years, but the only magazine article that mentioned anything productive was a Ms. Magazine article from 2005. Shouldn't that be part of more journalism? Right this second i certainly think so.

Ms. Magazine recommended letters to the UN secretary general and to the multinational mining corporations operating in the region, as well as donations to The Panzi Hospital, which is mentioned in the NYT article as well, and which struggles to provide services and health care to victims of rape.

Vday.org, an organization to end violence against women, is also organizing a campaign specifically focused on the Congo. You can also donate through their site (I couldn't get it to work directly from the Panzi Hospital site).

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damn soft tissue damage

Oct. 5th, 2007 | 07:00 pm

"Soft tissue damage" is what the doctors called whatever is in my foot that's been slowing me down for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. Not okay. I limp, it hurts to walk, I take the dog on incredibly puny walks. I thought if I waited two weeks it would either go away or the docs would take it seriously. Because I don't really believe them.

Yeah yeah, probably they're right, but they gave me a prescription for the pain; ibuprofen that, as far as I can tell, is the same strength as over the counter but more expensive. Does not inspire confidence!

And yeah, if it's not better in two MORE weeks of pain and restricted mobility, then I can go back. For what purpose, who the hell knows, since they seem to have completely given up on any actual diagnosis once they saw a lack of fractures in my feet.


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The homework fairy rides again!

Oct. 3rd, 2007 | 07:38 am

That's me...

Last night I dawdled and didn't do the work due tomorrow. I don't even know how mandatory it is. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I told myself I would just skip it. Skip it and skip school and sleep and do laundry and clean house.

Then at 6am with no alarm I woke up, got up, did the homework I'd been procrastinating for a week in under an hour, and am dressed with the dog walked. I'm glad to see there's at least some of that indomitable last minute spark + academic self-compulsion left in my soul!

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Renewing my LJ

Oct. 1st, 2007 | 09:25 am

I haven't posted in ages, for various reasons, including the somewhat decreased anonymity of my LJ! Well, whatever!

In the mean time, I finished law school!! I'm in bar school now, technically right now, because I'm skipping, because it's business law and I hate business law. And I'm bad at it, so clearly it makes sense to skip! Hmmm.... Oh well, I'll do the work anyhow. Eventually!

I've been fostering dogs. Now I have this awesome great dane called Sam. He's small for a great dane and is probably a bit of a mutt. He's five years old and someone went through time and trouble training him, so it's unbelievable to me that he would end up on 'death row' at the SPCA. Poor thing!

In general, I'm feeling somewhat restless and anchorless. So many of my good friends left Montreal, permanently or temporarily, and my heart is a little sore. Hopefully something good is around the corner though!

Here's a cool link:

Phemisaur - the radical feminist T-Rex, piercing social commentary via your childhood toys, yay!!

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Tonsillar Cellulitis

May. 18th, 2007 | 07:26 pm

Apparently this is what has been making me miserable the last two weeks! If I weren't so sure (based on past experience) that the doctor would make me feel stupid for coming to consult them and send me home to drink fluids and 'come back if you're still feeling bad in a week' I might have been able to start antibiotics *last* week!

Instead, I ended up in the emergency room at 3am this morning because my mouth was so swollen up I could barely open it and it *scared* me. I got my first IV ever, as well... steroids! and then massive doses of antibiotics. I also got a little video camera attached to a tube going up my nose and down my throat (cool! weird!!), yucky tasting numbing spray, and needles in my gums. Yet, it wasn't such a bad experience! I slept, learned a lot of leining, and felt *much* better afterwards. I hope it was due as much to the antibiotics as to the steroids, because I'm getting more of the former but not of the latter.

I made it home around 2:40 this afternoon... pretty wiped. But hopefully I will be in dancing form for the wedding I'm going to on Sunday!

At least it wasn't Mumps...

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Nothing ever goes out of style for good? Tzitzit Chic

Mar. 14th, 2007 | 08:38 am

You might have thought Hasidic fashion was behind the times, clinging to the dress of a antiquated aristocracy Jews were never even part of. Oops! Turns out they were just ahead of the fashion curve for an unusually long time!

Tzitzit 'style', like kosher style, only hotter
(image from the Slate magazine article)

I got to Slate's article on The Rise of Schmatte Chic through the anti-racism site Racialicous, which introduced it with this caption:

Move over, Asians! The next big thing to be culturally appropriated by the fashion industry is Jewish culture. “Nevertheless, designers have stopped short of weaving Jewish references into their designs—until now. The pioneer in this is Herchcovitch…”

I feel kind of weird in not being upset about this the same way I might be about the appropriation of Asian culture for fashion, which they compare it to. Is it because so many of the designers are actually Jewish? Or just weird tribal pride? Anyway, I mostly feel kind of tickled, I wish they had more images!

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